Have you ever tasted black coffee? If not, then you might have heard that it tastes bitter and maybe only people who want to punish their taste buds have it. But if you have tasted it, and like me, have acquired a taste for it, then you know that it comes as advertised – a beverage to jolt yourself and awaken it from slumber!

Black coffee has been my morning mate for more than a year now. Perhaps, age has something to do with it, for I never thought about it in my twenties. But it seems natural to shift towards a no-frills-to-the-point-beverage in my thirties. Just add instant coffee to hot water, stir, and pour it in your favourite mug. You are good! To think of it, it symbolises the transition perfectly. From a passionate and adventure-seeking youngster who craved for adrenaline-inducing experiences in the twenties to a person who is battered and bruised by the brutalities of life, especially the pandemic, in the thirties, black coffee appears as the fuel that keeps me going. But that’s just on the surface.

If I dig deep, it’s not about fuelling the pursuit of a goal or pleasure anymore, neither is it about happiness. It's about being in the moment. Simply experiencing what life has in store. And that can be pleasurable, happy, sad, anguishing, or/and a cocktail of emotions you have never felt before. Black coffee keeps me awake so that I can converse with those emotions.

Imagine being seated in a calming café all by yourself on a Sunday morning with a steaming cup of black coffee. Sadness approaches you and occupies the seat in front of you. You lift your cup, it just watches you lift your cup, and you both chat about the sadness. No judgement, no advice. Just questions and answers to unravel the thoughts that evoke the emotion. And once the cup is empty, both your cup of coffee and Sadness’ cup of turmoil, you both exit the café. Next Sunday, Happiness enters the café with a cheerful smile and the positivity of a newborn baby. There’s you, your black coffee, and an ecstasy of emotions exuded from the coffee partner.

Now, if, instead of black coffee, you were having a butterscotch milkshake with a salt and caramel pastry, would you be interested in what emotion seated opposite you would be saying? Does not seem so. The dance of dopamine would be too distracting to focus on self-reflection. Not to mention the layers of calories you would be putting on, which is an entirely different conversation.

Am I addicted to black coffee? Well, there have been days where I have not had it. Sometimes, I have craved it, romanticised the idea, imagined the lack of taste or a peculiar taste and then, eventually, let it go. And that’s when I realised that it’s not about the black coffee!

I could be sipping hot water, or merely holding the red cup, or just sitting in the balcony soaking the morning sun watching the plant in the corner grow sans the coffee, water, or the mug! Just be and feel the companionship of sadness, happiness, or the cocktail of emotions, experience them, take a deep breath, and let it go.